All day Thursday Rainey seemed fine. She played, she ate, she laughed, and she giggled - she was a normal, energetic two year old. We had a fun day full of friends and soccer. After Jaylee's soccer practice the whole family was starving. We had an hour to spare before James' soccer game started and in the mean time we had to pick up one of his teammates. After picking up his teammate we stopped at Burger King to get the girls a quick and cheap hamburger before it was time to head off to the field. Time flew by quicker than we had planned and James and Gavin had to leave for the game while the girls finished eating. Since it was getting cold outside anyways, I told them we'd be coming in around ten to fifteen minutes once the girls were finished. The girls and I all kissed James goodbye and they both ran out to the field as we began to watch the team warm up through our booth window.
A few minutes went by. Jaylee sat quietly as she finished her chicken nuggets, and Rainey was happily standing on the bench gazing out the window munching on french fries, while Eira continued to play and giggle as she kissed my checks loudly. As I was playing with Eira I looked up from the table and saw Rainey leaning backwards onto the headrest of the booth. There have been many instances where we have found her arching her back in order to stretch it due to growing pains, so I didn't think much of it. She then began to stomp her feet as she leaned further backwards and I figured she was in the beginning stage of a tantrum. So, I again shrugged it off. After a few seconds of hearing her stomp I realized her paper container of fries began to slowly slip out of her hand as she started to stomp louder and much quicker. I heard the spirit whisper in my ear, "Seizure. It's a seizure."
"Oh, no!" I gasped as I jumped up as fast as I could. I grabbed under both of her armpits and quickly but carefully pulled her down onto the bench. I knelt down on my knees and cradled her head in my chest as her legs lay on the bench and her little, helpless body propped against the back of the seat. A sweet woman rushed to my side. She grabbed Rainey from behind and turned her completely onto her side. Rainey had an entire handful of fries in her mouth and was starting to turn blue. She was choking. As my arms began to shake uncontrollably, to the point where I could no longer hold tightly to my Rainey girl, the sweet woman massaged Rainey's cheeks in hopes to get the food out of her clenched mouth. As she worked on Rainey I could hear her husband on the phone with emergency services. I could hear him yell, "She's blue! She's not breathing! She had a seizure with food in her mouth and she's choking."From that moment on, it's all a blur. I remember bits and pieces of what went on. I remember seeing Jaylee cry hysterically as she watched her sister turn blue and fade into a deep sleep. I remember the strength in the woman eyes as she held onto my child, never letting go. I remember the fear in the mans voice as he spoke on the phone with 112. I remember flashing lights and lots of men in uniforms. I remember seeing James run into the lobby searching for his baby with worry on his face. And then, I remember the fire department men standing over my baby yelling to the EMT's that my child - my baby, was now unresponsive.
I just stared. I stared at the EMT's and Burger King employees in shock that my child had just had a seizure when I was least expecting it. I wasn't prepared and I wasn't ready.
By this time, I had been separated from James for around twenty minutes or so and anxiously waiting for him to walk through the door. I hadn't seen him since the ambulance had left the restaurant and I didn't know where he was. I had taken his cellphone and left him with no form of communication. He had both Jaylee and Eira with him and I was hoping he would have quickly dropped them off at a friends house before coming to the hospital. To my surprise, James walked through the door with both Jay and Eira in tow. Thankfully, by then Rainey was settled into her bed and fast asleep.
After a few tests they decided to admit Rainey into the German children's hospital so they could keep a close eye on her. They settled us into a new room and hooked her up to many different machines. We also had a little German roommate who was the same age as Rainey. Her and her mother didn't speak any english, but they were extremely kind in welcoming us into our room.
Later that night as I laid on my little pull out bed I tried to get some sleep. The mother of Rainey's roommate lay next to me and with every little sound we would together jump up from our light sleep and rush to our child's bedside. We'd look at our daughters to see if it was them who had made the sound. We then would turn and look at each other and give a supportive smile. If it was her child that had woken, she'd stay to assist her daughter and I would lay back down and try to get some rest before the next little noise woke us up again. And vise-versa.
Around four in the morning I woke to hear Rainey coughing. I immediately jumped from my bed and within two large and rushed steps I was at the foot of her bed. Due to all the machines I couldn't get any closer then the foot of her bed and could barely reach ankle. I lay my hand on her foot and softly rubbed her chubby, sausage toes. It was that moment that I finally lost it. I was no longer in shock. Tears rolled down my face as I sobbed as quietly as a heart aching mother could sob without waking our roommates or my tender, sleeping child. As I continued to cry I heard the other mother turn over in her bed. I wiped my tears from my cheek and saw that she was sitting up in bed. She smiled at me and even though we spoke two completely different languages, our hearts spoke to each other as if there was no language barrier. With a kind smile on her face her eyes calmly whispered to me, "It's okay. I am here and you are not alone. You are loved." In this exchange of no words I witnessed the love of Christ from a woman whom I didn't even know and could hardly understand.
It was really neat to have an experience like I did with this lovely woman in such a heart breaking situation. She understood me and I understood her. We were both mother's - there to get help for our healthy yet sick children. I will never forget this quick and heaven sent friendship. For those few minutes, I felt like everything was going to be okay.As for now, Rainey has been discharged. Hip-hip-HORRAY! Since the neurologist doesn't work on the weekend we were told we had two options. 1.) We could stay at the hospital all weekend and do testing on Monday or 2.) We could get sent home with some epileptic medication to stop a seizure if one is to happen and then be readmitted on Sunday through Tuesday so we can finish all of her testing. After much thought and prayer, we chose to come home with the epileptic medication and are keeping a sharp eye on our little Rainy girl. We feel she would be more comfortable at home as opposed to being stuck in a hospital room and tiny bed during the three day weekend. Come Sunday though, we will be back at the hospital getting a series of testing done. Since this is her third seizure without a fever her pediatric neurologist is swaying more on the idea that this may be epilepsy. We are now having to weight the pros and cons on putting her on daily medication vs. no medication. Our stress level is up as we educate ourselves with different forms of seizures and many different medications. We are exhausted and so behind on everyday home life, but so blessed to have everyday with each other.
Thank you to all those who have been praying for her and placing her name in the temple. Please, continue to pray for the doctors to find a diagnosis, Rainey to get better, and our family to stay strong. We love you all and are so grateful for so many supportive family and friends.
XOXOX,
Brittany
